


all he wanted me to do was stop

by ashleyerwinner



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 10x22 coda, DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Spoilers, spn spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 13:02:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3937777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleyerwinner/pseuds/ashleyerwinner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a 10x22 coda</p>
            </blockquote>





	all he wanted me to do was stop

**Author's Note:**

> ngl I'm actually happy with last night's episode and that rarely happens but you know. enjoy!!

There are… conflicting emotions. The Mark is alive under his skin, blood on fire, pumping adrenaline and victory through his veins. He can taste the blood in his mouth; the Mark begs for more. More blood, more carnage, more destruction.

The shred of humanity in him overpowers all of that. He feels the twist of guilt in his gut, the impending sickness in the back of his throat, his hands shake just so. They’re covered in Cas’ blood.

His mouth waters, but he almost doesn’t make it to the toilet in time.

Conflicting emotions.

After he empties his stomach, he stands in front of the sink, splashes water onto his face. He looks up at himself and expects to see black eyes, expects to see the demon inside of him. What he sees is Cas, bloody, beaten, and sad. Blood trickling from his nose, blood bubbling at the corners of his mouth, blood pressed into his crumpled tie. He slams his fist through the mirror without a second thought, and collapses to the floor.

Cas had said he’d stay forever with Dean, that he’d be the one watching as he murdered the world. He’d defended his and Sam’s intentions to help him.

His body screams against the guilt itching at him. His best friend in the world, and he’d almost put an angel blade through his heart.

Tears don’t prickle at his eyes, he doesn’t shake with a broken sob, but his heart clenches as the thought of Cain’s words come to mind.

“All she asked me to do was stop.”

Cas hadn’t fought back, not once. He’d let Dean pummel him into the ground, and the only thing that kept Dean from letting the Mark feel the squish and thud of the blade going through the angel’s heart was a soft, “please, stop.”

He’s not sure how long he stays there, crumpled on the bathroom floor. Eventually, he gets up and walks through the door, prepared to see anything but Cas, clean and unbroken, stacking books back on to the library shelves. The picture of his mother sits on the table, wavy and soaked with gasoline, but not destroyed.

A thousand thoughts come to mind. “I thought I told you to leave”, “thank you”, “I’m sorry,” “it wasn’t me, it was the mark”, but what he says shocks even him.

“I need help.”


End file.
